Relaxing and Realizing

This is the first relaxing day I’ve had since transferring to my new store. My schedule there was a little crazy, going from ending my day at 1am then going to work at 10 am the same day, and then at 6am the next day. I was having a total of 4 hours sleep per day. Tonight is my first chance to regain all of it. I have to wake up again early tomorrow.

Work is kind of different lately. Handling a store on your own isn’t easy. You have to maintain sales, take care of the staff, maintenance issues, ordering of items, overlooking profit and loss. I admit that it was a constant shock for me at first. I don’t have any experience handling a store by myself. Good thing, I discovered that I have 2 wonderful and dependable supervisors. It made me breathe a little. I don’t want to take care of my store without their consent. After all, teamwork is the key to maintaining a good store. I just need to continue my training though. I’m just preparing for everything until our area manager comes. I have a lot to discuss with him too. Enough of work. This is my time to relax.

So, right now, I am all alone in the flat. I feel lonely for myself but sometimes I enjoy the isolation somehow. I promised not to spend so much time using the computer but if I’ll not do anything I’ll go crazy thinking about J. Ah, yes, J.

Is it bad to think of someone who makes you happy? Is forgetting him right when you know in your heart you can’t? You want to because you know it’s no use anyway. Would God understand what I’m feeling for this person, and not misinterpret that I can care for him and not love him? Crazy thoughts, crazy realizations. Here I am, all alone. Am I pathetic? Not even trying to go out and meet someone else.

I have met someone. He’s my good friend. My colleagues told me that he was sad these past few days. They say I’m the reason. I say, trying to deny everything that I feel, that he misses his girlfriend, he has problems, or haven’t enough sleep. That would be better. That would be right. I miss him terribly. I hope he really does miss me too.

~ by zenindra on June 28, 2007.