You Live, You Learn

I just read the blog of my friend Clare recently about being in the 30’s and viewing life in a different perspective. She was right with so many things, and I have experienced life in the same way. I am 32, living my own life, and just started to love it. There’s a certain freedom to being single,and a way of thinking that makes you live your life wisely. For the first time, after a year of mourning and being scared ,I am smiling inside, I am enjoying everything and every time that life has to offer. I can say I am happy, and no matter what life throws at me I am ready to face it. I never knew that it could be so exciting!!!

Work wise

I have been in my new store for 2 weeks now. There are days when I don’t want to go. Sometimes I don’t feel excited to work. I keep telling myself that I am lucky to even have a job! Just a few months back I was like a loser with no future to look forward to, and now I feel that I am already tired in my job. Why do we not have any contentment in life? When I do feel like this, I remind myself that this is what I wanted. This is what I prayed for in the first place. I have it now, so I should utilize, and cherish it. Anyhow after 18 months I can look for another job!!!! Hahaha. Honestly, I am proud of myself because I have come this far, and it sure made my Mama happy. I think that’s more important than what I want for now.

Of Men and Me

I finally moved on. From my baby, from J, from the prince, and all of the past men. I decided to let God do that part for me. I know we have the privilege to choose who we want to spend the rest of our lives with but it’s better if God lead me to him. Sure, I will date, be friends with guys, and try to enjoy being single. I do want to get married. That’s why I need to know if I’m choosing the right one. I know I don’t have enough capabilities to be able to know if the One is the One, and that’s where God comes in. It seems that when I choose for myself, they turn out that they are not for me. It’s okay. I have a learned a lot!!!!!! I have become stronger and wiser.

It’s funny, I just opened my Friendster and found out that my baby is still viewing me. Tough luck. He said no communication. He said to move on with my life. I did. I am. J is viewing me too. Weird for someone who forgot our friendship. Pathetic for someone who turns out to be weak. I will not turn back again. I know my worth, and I know how I can love. Now, I am thinking of someone who I don’t even know!!!!! I just saw him in Friendster too!!!! But he sure is gorgeous, and he sure looks sweet. I am just dreaming. He’s my inspiration for now.

~ by zenindra on July 9, 2007.